Thursday, March 25, 2010

My Life Lately..

A lot of things have changed in my life weight being the most obvious 1..but that aside..what i would really have to talk about is where i am now. This point in life. Why am I here? Where am I going to? and how am I going to make it? and when I do, who am I going to be?

Its my 4th and Final year in university...When i was younger, it was THE place that I wanted to be (I mean not UPM specifically..but somewhere doing my higher education which i personally would have preferred if it was somewhere over seas but...gotta be happy with what life gives you.. :p) But now, when am actually here (and almost leaving..) I'm this what I really want in life? Life in university teaches you a lot of things, many people would swear to that..but what does it actually teach you? It changes you..but into what?

I would have to admit, there were the good times, the bad times and the really horrid times..Speaking for myself and analyzing my life alone...i feel that I am a lot worse than I started out. Its like after Adam and Eve ate the apple and had their eyes opened. If somebody would have asked them 10 years later, they would have definitely said that 'Ignorance is bliss...'

As a child, the only thing that I ever wanted to do (other than to play with my toys and watch cartoons and steal all my brother's Lego pieces that made his truck..) was to grow up. Other than the obvious reasons of wanting to stay up late and going out with the other adults, but it was also so I could EXPRESS my opinions, be who I want to be, make my OWN choices and not have someone else tell me that my opinions don't matter because I am not old enough and tell me to do things because THEY know what's best for me...but as I grew up (and even more since I came to university) I realised that, the older you got, the more people told you least when you're younger, its only your parents (and know-it-all aunties and uncles). but as you get older, suddenly everyone knows better than you about your life. They tell you what to study, where to study, who to love, who to marry, what you should wear, what you should say..and better still, what to feel when you are faced with certain situations...

My question is, who made them the boss of my life? Who gave them the right to decide what I should do and who told them what would my future be like (not as if God came in THEIR dream and told them about MY future..and God forbid, if I do make the wrong choices and fail, SO WHAT??!! at least I learn...because at one point of my life, I would have to walk some paths alone..I would have to make some of my own decisions..If your always there to shine a torch on my path, what's gonna happen when you run out of batteries and I don't have a spare because I never needed them. Who's gonna tell me where to go then?

With that I rest my case...