Friday, June 19, 2015

A certain winged creature and their habits

Gnat (pronounced /ˈnæt/ )
A gnat is the common name for many small, winged insects in the fly grouping. Contrary to popular belief, these tiny flying insects are not “babies,” they are adults. The tiny flying insects that many people call “gnats” could really be fruit flies or fungus gnats. Depending on species, gnats can be biting or non-biting and will feed on plants, other insects or blood. Gnats are never able to stay still. 

But this post is not about a gnat. It's about me.

My husband says that I have the patience of a gnat.

It's not that I can't wait. I can. But... fingers get clammy... brain goes into overdrive... heart palpitates...
...and I start to itch and hyperventilate. 

I consciously tell myself to calm down and breathe and when that doesn't work, I imagine myself playing the freeze game (the one where when someone stops the music, you freeze on the spot until the music starts again).

If even that fails, I imagine myself in a box wrapped in multiple layers of wrapping paper and I mentally tear it apart, layer by layer, just to slow myself down.

Sometimes I wish I was a bear. So, I can hibernate during my 'winter of waiting' and wake up when the waiting is over. 

I'm just not the 'wait and see' sort of person. I'm the 'plan, do, see, tweak, see, repeatedly tweak till perfect and see' sort of person. 

If I have 5 miles to change lanes, I do it at the first mile. I used to study at the 11th hour just because I couldn't handle studying then waiting for the exam day. I met my husband (then boyfriend) and got him to sign a contract on the first week to commit to marriage. 

I don't have the patience of a gnat. I have never been able to swat a gnat just because I have never been able to wait long enough for it to settle down. 

My husband on the other hand, has the patience of a mantis, he can wait. He can stay so still that butterflies sit on him.

Good things come only to those who wait? I really hope not.