Counting the countdowns...

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...kaboom!! heard it last night (or early this morning)...I woke up with a start (considering how early I usually sleep and also that I am so light a sleeper that even the ticking of he clock wakes me). Its Malaysia Day..and also the 3rd countdown of the year...Since I was awake anyway, I was suddenly thinking about countdowns and people's obsession with them...Why do we countdown?

Take for instance, the New Year...what do we think about when we countdown? all the happy things that happened throughout the year? like 10 (got a new job!), 9 (found my soul mate!), 8 (found rm 100!!), 7 (err..), 6 (ran out of good memories...), 5 (dang! now am feeling horrible), 4 (thank god the year is over!), 3 (thank god for a new year!), 2 (but not as if that's gonna be any better...), 1 (AARGHHH!!)...HAPPY NEW YEAR (or NOT!)...or do we think of all the bad things? But what's the point of that? Not as if you can change it 10 seconds before the new year comes...so why do we count it down?

Then there is Merdeka..now Malaysia Day...and who knows what else...why is the last 10 seconds of the previous year or the 10 seconds before the new year matter so much? Why do we let 10 SECONDS discount 365 days that we have...why do we reduce all the good things and the bad into a mere 10 seconds...is that all there is to the last whole year? or the whole coming year for that matter? its like a year's 10 seconds of fame and then we jump back into routine and monotone..10 seconds of fireworks and cheers and slaps on the back then we go back to our 'same ol, same ol..' isnt every new day important? isnt every second we take a breathe and live important?

If a countdown is something that marks importance then shouldn't we be counting down every day? even when we wait for the LRT on the way to a new job (I wouldnt recommend that if you are waiting for the Commuter or Rapid KL buses though...), or when we wait for the bride when she walks down the aisle? or even when we wait for the sun to set or rise each day?

So...why do we count down?

Been there..Done that...

This was the one time that I didnt even have to think of what I was going to call this post...it just came to me...'been there...done that...' or have I? I have finally stepped into the working world..3 months ago, after my final exams, i thought to myself, "am gonna take a week off, then am gonna get this awesome job with an awesome pay packet and finally start enjoying life..." 3 months later, here I am...having done 3 jobs in 3 months and moving on to the 4th..it makes me think a little of the past...of all that i have wanted to be, all that i was...

When i was little (very little..mind you!) i wanted to be a nun (i know a lot of people would laugh..) complete with t black habit, hood and rosary...just like in 'The sound of music'...but that dream ended quickly...as soon as i heard that nuns sleep on plywood, eat less, pray alot and worst of all, don't have Dutch Lady UHT chocolate milk..YIKES!!

Then one day, I heard my mum say in passing that lawyers earned a lot and all you have to do is talk..that made an impression in my young mind...and after that, all that i really wanted was to be a lawyer...until, i read in the local papers that a lawyer got shot with a gun in a busy highway! i mean i wanted money...just not enough to die for it...

So for a long time in my young life, i was floating...whenever any adult asked me what i wanted to be, i'll just shrug and say 'dont know'...and they'll give me this weird look and start singing 'que sera sera...' (aarghh!! after a while i hated that song..who was SERA anyway? and why did she ask SO MANY questions??)

I ran through all the possibilities..doctor (blood - YUCK!!), teacher (kids - ICKY!!), fire/policewomen (uniform not 'girly'), nurse (uniform pretty but patients not pretty...) and the list kept going on and on..

When I reached upper secondary, i more or less started having better ideas (thanks to a wider vocabulary)...for a while i wanted to be a journalist (then i realised i dont like writing serious stuff like news) or a newscaster (but then again, i am afraid of going in front of people)...then i just knew it! i wanted to be RICH and FAMOUS but that wasnt really a job...hmmm...

So after form 5, i did my 1st real job, at my uncle's tour agency and I decided i would own a travel agency, so much money and a chance to meet so many foreigners (and who knows, i might even find myself a rich and handsome foreign boyfriend!! like in the movies where foreign princes come undercover and fall for normal girls and make them famous but then not many princes actually come to Malaysia now, do they?)

So, i went on to do form 6 and then went to work in a bank...have to admit, it was pretty fun...high pay (for an 18 year old..), pretty clothes, off days...and then i thought "this is it! i am gonna be a banker!!" then offer for university came and i said again "why be a banker when i can be a scientist??" so i went on to do 4 grueling years in a science course and came out convinced that i NEVER wanted anything to do with science!

In between those 4 years, I worked as a promoter, customer service assistant, salesgirl and even a stint as a medical lab technologist..and i although i liked it all, i didnt think i would spend my whole life doing any one of it...so i came out of university thinking..(again).."this is it! i am gonna be a banker!!" but eventually i started working as a barista (where i learnt how to make and drink awesome coffee) then i went into a hotel as a front desk assistant (where i decided most rich people are silly and think too much of themselves and so do the staff who handle them..geez..they are people, not GOD!!) and then i struck closer to home and worked as an underwriter...honestly i hated the job! it was monotonous and boring and repetitive..but i kinda loved my friends..they were nice and funny..which got me to think...of all the people that i have met during my 'job experience'

Taking it from the top...in Donaplus T&T, Mr Ganash Suppiah, Ravi shankar uncle, Pastor Dass, in HSBC, Budi, Andy Wong Dai Fatt, Prenisha, Rayven, Sheila akka, Mr Tay Tian Siang, Geetha, in Memory lane, Miss Penny, Joanne, Ken, Kak Ina...in Awana Vacation, Kak Meera and Nurul...in Dutch Lady promotions, Wilson Tan, Fong, Michelle, Shue Feng (her name means snow..) and the 2nd time, alex, bharani, vince, carmen, in Assunta, Angeline, Yamuna, Mr Patrick, Suresh anna, Eeswari, Bairavee, Koh chin yoke, norma...in starbucks, andy, abg hazim, abg khairul, sia pei chun, farid, fatiha, izuddin..in the hotel, kesavan anna, velu anna, muthu, velan, vick anna, jolene..in Hong Leong Assurance, Ku Weng Kia, Eunice Quak Sheau Huay, Nicholas Liew, Oscar, Cherylyn, Kak Nor, the security kakak (i dont know her name)..and then there are the faces..i remember everything about them except their names..in their own way, they have each made a difference in my life, they took something and left something..a memory, a smile, some tears...

And now, here i am again..about to go to yet another job..in Maxis...Is this where I find my niche? Have I finally found home? honestly i dont know..what do i want to be? that is one question that is again going unanswered...