Yesterday was Holy Thursday or otherwise known as Maundy Thursday. For the first time in my 3 years of being a UPMer, i would be celebrating the Holy Triduum in St. Anne's Chapel. It felt a bit different though compared to the 'being in a big church' feeling. Everyone was sitting closer together, the hymns were different, yaada yaada... but one thing was the same though, i was still sitting with my family, just this time it was the family that i chose for my self, my friends.
First time also that i got my feet washed, by Dominic (he claimed it was for our 'little disagreement' when we were EXCOs, LOL!)
Usually, me being me, i would find it extremely difficult 'not' to zone out during homily. But this time, surprisingly, i was stuck on every word (or at least the keywords...). I have finally found at least part of the answer on why we celebrate lent and easter and the Eucharist over and over again.
The veneration of the Eucharist was quite 'challenging' for me. It wasnt the fact that I couldnt sit still ( which is usually the case...) but i just couldnt take my mind of the humidity in the chapel, the mosquitos buzzing around, the pain in my knees from kneeling on cemented floor, people moving in and out that was distracting me, the time that was running late...although i didnt 'say' anything, my mind had its own litany of complaints...
and thats when it hit me, here i am complaining endlessly, forgetting all the time, that it was on this day, that Jesus had knelt down at Gethsemene, on the uneven rocky ground, at an unearthly hour, with probably loads of mosquitos and all the disciples sleeping and knowing that one of them, someone he trusted, was going to betray him and hand him over to his death for a merely 30 pieces of silver and He prayed. Even at this hour, he prayed, not asked or demanded, but prayed that this cup would be taken away but nevertheless He would accept. He did not deserve it, but he did it for...ME. with not even a word of complaint.
It made me feel so ungrateful and unworthy. and now i know why we celebrate easter and the Eucharist again and again...its because we forget, I forget! that what happened that night 2000 years ago, happened because of me and who I am TODAY...
Happy and Blessed Easter!
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